Columnist

Liquid error: invalid date

Landlady: BIG Mistakes

Landlady

 

It’s a happy new year for some, but not for me as The Cuban Boyfriend is in Cuba without me. We are going together for a fortnight in February, but that’s not soon enough for my liking.


I am lucky enough to have many options in order to cheer myself up, so the first thing I did was book a flight to Dubai for this month. It was very cheap, as I used airmiles to pay for some of it. Besides, I’m staying with my good friend M and mainly hanging out on his boat for the five days I’ll be there. My friend B is coming with me too, so I’m sure a great deal of shopping will also be in the offing. I just hope I’m not going to be hauled out of the shopping Mall for wearing a short skirt as I was last time. The shame….


Another thing I’ve decided to do to cheer myself up – and keep myself occupied – is invest in property again. Like many people, I have decided that it would be a good idea to sell a flat of high value and buy two of lower values, one to rent and one to do up and sell. The renter would be in Brighton and the doer-upper in Hastings, meaning I wouldn’t have to get a mortgage, cutting out a lot of stressful nonsense. At any rate, last time I tried to get a mortgage, I was point blank refused as many lenders don’t allow rental income to be classed as part of your income. When confronted with rubbish like this, I tend to dig my heels in and work out another way of doing things, hence my current quest.


My initial property search didn’t go too well, which was probably my fault as I turned up at an Estate Agents’ with holey leggings on a battered old bicycle. The girl at the desk clearly thought I was some lunatic tramp who was all about wasting her time and immediately made me feel like Oprah Winfrey in the Louis Vuitton shop (where, judging her by her appearance, the sales assistant assumed he couldn’t afford anything), practically sneering at me when I asked how much a studio flat was. Fortunately, over the road in another estate agent, they were charm personified and I’m already thinking of putting an offer in on one of their properties. I am thinking of going back to the first estate agent, dressed like a millionaire and wafting my portfolio in front of the sales lady saying…’remember me? BIiiiiig mistake…